Sirena
by tomboy-girl21
Summary: Carefully she took the potted plant, the one with S-A-K-U-R-A written in steadier letters down from her window sill and let it crash on to the floor. You haven't bloomed Sakura, she thinks bitterly, not at all. A series of one-shots, Ino-centric.
1. Childhood

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

_THIS IS HOW IT STARTS_

Her blue eyes are wide with childish awe at the small green stalks poking out of the soil.

"_There is nothing more satisfying then helping something grow into it's full potential_," her mother tells her tenderly when she sees that her daughter hasn't left the small pot. The pot is a generic brown khaki color with I-N-O written in wobbly red letters. They are plain white daisies, barely sprouting, but her daughter looks at them with the eagerness of watching a baby take it's first step.

Her mother is gone now and even though it's only been four years since that moment, the only times Ino can muster up an image that isn't blurry is when she's in her family's shop.

There is a girl, small, sobbing on the curb between grass and pavement, but it's not the tears trekking down her cheeks that catches Ino's attention, but the soft pink strands of hair that remind her of Sakura flowers, and lashes that look darker than the center of a Black Eyed Susan and even though the lashes and hair are attached to a heaving little girl, Ino is still mesmerized by their color.

She knows that the pink-haired girl is teased because of her forehead, but she also sees that once her eyes open they are a pretty emerald green-stalk color that no other girl in their class has. She is sympathetic, but also a little disappointed that the pink-haired girl doesn't appreciate that. Blonde hair and blue eyes are rare in Konoha, but that hair and eyes are _really_ rare.

_There is nothing more satisfying then helping something grow into it's full potential._

Her name is Sakura, she remembers. Cherry blossom.

_-x-_

I'll give you a present, Ino feels like scoffing at herself. She wants to give her something that will help her stop crying but what? She plays with the end of her shirt, the fabric is soft and familiar under her fingers, and it's scent is a comforting floral smell.

Her daddy brought her back this shirt from one of his missions, she remembers affectionately, and the orange color is pale and soothing to her still.

"That's it!"

She ties back the long bangs Sakura had grown out in a futile effort to hide her forehead. Pink and red don't really do together, but that ribbon was in the first bouquet Ino ever made and her father let her keep it and it's her favorite one. Sakura gives a timid smile from behind her and it doesn't matter if pink and red don't go together.

_-x-_

There is a small flower in her room that Ino keeps next to her other pot and that one means confidence. The small seed has been tucked into the moist soil and sitting on her window sill for 2 months now. The seed has sprouted and a green stalk is once again poking out, each day Ino measures it carefully and she's sure that's it's growing each day.

Sakura is smiling more openly now, she is laughing and giggling with the other girls, and she talks to Ino more enthusiastically, though she still stumbles over her words. But she still shrinks back from Ami, and her eyes glitter when she hears the other girls whisper about how that red color makes her forehead look even larger.

One step forward two steps back, she sighs to herself. Still, she thinks as she pulls out her small measuring tape, patience.

Sakura has been her friend for two months now.

_-x-_

It's not anything she should be ashamed of, she thought defensively. Every girl in their grade liked Sasuke, and she liked him _first_.

But Sakura's gleeful voice, so much more alive than it was months ago makes her deflate.

She peeks over her massacred pillow to look at her plants. The stalk is tall now and it is putting out small buds.

Patience, she sighs to herself.

_-x-_

Carefully she took the potted plant, the one with S-A-K-U-R-A written in steadier letters down from her window sill and let it crash on to the floor.

Thump, thump, thump, her father is coming and she stares down at her shattered plant, the buds have sprouted, and she can see them even underneath the broken pottery pieces.

There is a small hitching noise and she realizes that it's coming from her. She rubs at her eyes, but they keep coming away wet so she stops, and she leans down to pick up the pieces. Her father won't let her go in the shop if he sees her broken pot. The buds are still fine, and their blooms stand out against the dark color of her wooden floor.

You haven't bloomed Sakura, she thinks bitterly, not at all.

_-x-_

She sees Sakura hesitate, but as soon as her pink haired ex-best friend sees her, green eyes go hard and she flashes a grin at Sasuke and pushes a bento at him which he declines in monotone.

But Ino is barely paying attention to that, her eyes are wide at the girl beside him. Sakura is wearing a pink skirt (she hates that color, Ino remembers mutely, it makes her stand out even more), her hair is combed back neatly ("_It's too much trouble to comb_," she complains when her ribbon gets tangled in it), and her sandals are new ("_New shoes makes you slip_," Sakura says defensively). The only old thing about this new Sakura is her red ribbon, but even that's tied differently now.

Blue eyes narrow. If that's the way she wants play it, then

_fine_.

Her father is leaving for another mission, an easy one he tells her with a smile as he leaves her at the Akimichi's house and Ino tugs at his hand.

"Daddy," she whispers urgently, "Bring me back something pretty okay?"

_-x-_

"Go away."

She hides a wince at his cold, bland tone, and gives him a pretty smile instead. She walks away form her crush smiling, giving Sakura a smirk, before she turns a corner and lets it fade.

Her bangs, which are long now, hide her glittering eyes.

They'll both see, she tells herself.

* * *

_**Basil** - Best Wishes; love; hatred_

* * *


	2. Adolesence

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. In this chapter Shika/Ino, Cho/Ino, Asu/Kure, light Sasu/Saku

warnings; this story takes a rather darker tone from here. Jsut sayin.

* * *

(Prologue)

_You see what you know, not what you want._

_If you don't know what you want, then you'll never see it._

**Hill**

Green light, a shade above her best friend's eyes, emits from the pinkette's hand and Ino feels a familiar sickening stab. She felt it earlier that day too, when she saw how well, they (for once they not being Ino and Shikamaru) fought and she realizes what it is. It is not the petty jealously she felt over her best friend getting what they both fought for, what Sakura broke their friendship for.

This is envy and it feels a hundred times worse than that.

Lee's trying to get back up and she feels it again, more viciously and she wants to curl in shame. No matter what, Lee always gets back up.

_She stayed down like he told her too, she stayed out of the way_

The mission passes in a blur and suddenly they are parting and she sees Shikamaru smirking at something Temari said and this time it comes back harder and there's something coming up her throat-

_there's something wrong with this_

**Collect**

None of them know it yet, they are each others.

They are her boys, this was her fight, but she didn't win it, hell she didn't even fight it.

Someone else did.

Someone better did.

That was her fight, she vows, and next time she will fight it.

**Light**

At first it isn't noticeable, but once their exchanging accounts and accomplishments, her silence becomes obvious.

She says nothing.

He spent a good chunk of his time praying for that, and now that it's happened. it feels off, unnatural, -

_wrong_

**Steady**

She is subdued during lunch and the only change in her expression is when Chouji and Shikamaru are retelling Mission Return the Favor. His eyes flicker to her quiet temperament and she doesn't even bother to chide Chouji for eating her portion of BBQ.

They go on to describe their seperate fights and something clicks.

Ah, so that's what it is.

He is ready to advise her, to chastise her for not bothering to think that there might be someone else who can work well with Shikamaru, to kick her into realizing that she's a gennin and this is the time to improve. Then she absentmindedly turns her face from their window and Asuma sees her eyes harden into resolution.

_this will not happen again_

**Drift**

She hasn't left and Tsunade can feel the steady, though respectful gaze boring into her bowed head. "I dismissed you Ino," Tsunade said without looking up from the mission report.

"I know, but I wanted to ask you about-"

"I know what you want to talk about. You should have asked me yourself," her voice is clipped, but mild.

She feels, rather than sees, the girl nod. "I wanted to ask you again myself. I would have done it the first time, but Sakura told me how hard you are to track down lately because you've been so busy."

Tsunade felt a touch of cool amusement. She was well aware of her reputation for slacking off has spread around the village. It was not uncommon to see Tsunade shooting back a shot in the hot springs only to disappear moments before a harried Shizune showed up, her arms stuffed with papers and Tonton at her heels. None of this however showed in her voice when she addressed Ino's carefully polite comment.

"And?"

"And I figured it'd at least get your attention," the gennin brat said bluntly. "I want to study under you and now that you know of my interest I'm willing to hound you till you consider it."

Asking for tutaluge through Sakura was merely bold, slightly pretentious, this however, this _was _sheer audacity. She tapped her pen against her desk, now vaguely interested in the outcome of this conversion. "I barely have time to train one apprentice thoroughly, I couldn't promise to be as extensive in my teachings with you," she pointed out callously. "I've looked at you're teams files, you have good chakra control for a gennin, but a medic must have perfect chakra control. The chances of you tapering your control that well is slim and you would have to compensate by increasing you're stamina to adequately complete medical jutsus, since your current chakra reserve would not be enough. You would have to do a lot more independent study and training than Sakura."

Ino didn't flinch during Tsunade's thorough criticisms and if it weren't for the juvenile purple outfit, Tsunade would swear she was looking at one of her ANBU applicants. "I can train on my own for those things," she said stubbornly. "Besides, Shizune already agreed to help when she had the opportunity."

The pen stilled. "You went to my assistant without clearing it with me first," said who was perhaps the most terrifying kunoichi in Konoha, slowly. "That was very confident, or very stupid."

Her petite frame bristled. "Shizune can make her own descions," Ino said, a tad defensively.

A sardonic smile curved her own plump mouth. "And exactly why should I take on such a difficult apprentice?"

Sakura was a good student, and for someone who came to her randomly one day, she had been lucky. Sakura already possessed near perfect chakra control and she grasped concepts quickly. But the reasons why medics where so deadly was because they had the capacity to compartmentalize their emotions. Sakura healed with emotion. Her student would, like every medic one day, kill someone and then more days, many. But unlike most shinobi medics, Sakura would hold onto every one.

"You'll have to ask Sakura for help as well."

Ino's smile was slow in unfurling, but it was bright. "I can live with that."

**Step**

Her eyes had swirled with hurt and loathing then.

Now they are fierce unwavering concentration.

He came here to explain why it wasn't her fault she wasn't able to help Shikamaru, because unlike his apparently blind best friend, he _has _noticed the reason for Ino's interest in medicine. He misses her, and it's weird, not healthy, and awkward because Ino is still sometimes bitchy, she is a girl and she's pretty, but he does. She doesn't train with them as often anymore and when she's not with them, she has no free time, but more than that, something has changed between his teammates and that is what he misses.

her eyes glow when wings flutter to life underneath her hands and he changes his mind.

_she looks peaceful_

**Page**

Books and scrolls are scattered on her bed and there is a plate of cold half eaten rolls on the desk.

Her eyes are tired and the words are beginning to blur in her head, but she's going to memorize this chapter. Sakura agreed to help her with this jutsu. She refuses though, to ask Sakura for help without knowing the basics first. She reaches over for her coffee, piping hot and gulps it down. Her lips pucker at the bitter taste, she's not used to taking it black, not used to taking coffee at all, but it does it's job and a bolt of energy runs through her body.

Her pupils run over the page rapidly and she closes the book, holding the page with her index finger and begins to chant back to herself the outline of the last five chapters. She repeats this for the next couple of minutes until she remembers it easily.

She smiles wanly.

Only three chapters left.

**Inject**

Tsunade and Sakura are discussing an herbal remedy and Ino for once, does not have to painstakingly remind herself that this is important. This is _fascinating_.

There are the components to consider, the balance, the patients' individual needs, possible allergies, finding the right remedy is almost like solving puzzle and she feels like she can finally understand her teammate's love of them. They are sparring now, Sakura is offering up herbs to add to the pill, and Tsunade is drilling her on the why, the what, the how much. Then of course these are plants she has grown up with, she does not need to read until the words blur to understand it, or ask through gritted teeth for help from Sakura, she _gets this_.

She gets so caught up in following the conversion that she forgets she is the kohai, the secondary apprentice and volunteers information.

"Angelica would be better," Ino suggested.

Tsunade's attention shifts over to her and Sakura, though surprised quickly rebuttals. "It's an expectorant. Kyo doesn't have excess mucous," Sakura chided, as if Ino had never heard of the properties of Angelica before.

"It's also used to strengthen the lungs," Ino snapped back. She felt her master's gaze and she took a deep breath. "A small amount," Ino said evenly. "Not a lot, and you could add hyssop too."

Despite their weird reversal in the mentor relationship, their rivalry is still fully intact. Maybe even more so, now that Sasuke is gone and their fighting over something real. But despite the fact that Sakura basically just got told off by her kohai, Ino can tell that Sakura is professional enough to considerate it. Ino can already see the wheels in Sakura's head turning, albeit reluctantly.

She feels the blaze of Tsuande's gaze and she meets her teacher's amber eyes defiantly.

"And exactly how much would you suggest be added to the solution? And what about the other components? How would-"

The attention has shifted and now both of them are being drilled. Half of the answers she gives are partially wrong, the other half are completely wrong and according to Tsunade she just killed 5 patients, but it's worth it to be treated like she should know the answer.

**Lift**

He watched her short hair dance in the breeze as she ran to her next session.

He should be thankful, her training has most definitely improved since she decided to train under Tsunade. The chakra precision necessary for medics has sharpened her control, and since it's not to the level of Sakura's, to keep up, Ino has had to gain a considerable amount of stamina as a result. The observation skills needed in medicine, have made her clear sighted gaze blossom and she's excelled in her genjutsu training. Tsunade's teaching in reading patterns, although secondary scraps compared to Sakura, have nonetheless made her intuition stronger.

Her and Chouji will not pass the Chunnin Exam next time around, they will go far, but the loss of Shikamaru will affect them more than they know. They'll both get it the third time around and he should be proud, most shinobi don't turn Chunnin till their late teens. He's sure they'll get it before they turn fifteen.

But he worried because ever since mission Return the Favor, Shikamaru and Ino seem to be subconsciously acting different around each other. He's working with her, they're friendlier, she's tamer, but something is still off.

Ino is not tame, and it seems like that's what she's trying to make herself be.

**Leaf**

Sakura has brought to life her rabbit effortlessly and Ino was still struggling with her small squirrel.

it's late and she glances at the blonde, her bangs have fallen into her face and she's emitting a strong green glow from her hands. Suddenly the jay flutters and her eyes widen with joy.

She remembers the feeling, the happiness, the elation and her success and wonders if their reasons are similar too.

_deep dark eyes, and dark hair_

**Orion**

He gritted his teeth against the sting of his now disinfected flesh.

"So Apollo was protective of his sister's chastity and tricked her into killing Orion."

Chouji tried hard to focus on her words instead of the warm blood still gushing from his throat. How much blood could he lose, even with replenishment pills?

Seeming to sense this the medic in training continued talking and then he felt an itch that he learned to recognize as his bone and sinew being healed. "Artemis was the goddess of Hunting, the Wild Lady, and a patron of all maidens. Stay awake Chouji," Ino said sharply, breaking form her story, yet never faltering in her jutsu. If he had been able, the Akimichi would have rolled his shoulders in discomfort at the cold feeling spreading around his neck wound. Slowly she allowed the jutsu to fade, and now he had an urge to call it and the numbness it brought, back.

"Artemis had sworn to remain a maiden forever and in doing so she intended never to fall in love." A smooth, moist, cream was gently applied. "But in Orion she found a man who was not only a great hunter, but treated her as an equal. Artemis had never felt a wide range of emotions for pretty much any male, be he human or immortal, and was known for killing men for stumbling across her as she bathed." Chouji felt lightheaded and realized belatedly that his head was actually being held a few inches above the ground.

"Hold him still Shikamaru." A thin cloth was press against his wound. "But Artemis feelings were strong and she was going to break her vow and be with Orion, but her brother Apollo," something thicker was added on top of the cloth, "Fearing that she would later regret her decision orchestrated the death of the only man who ever threatened his sister's purity." Something, another cloth?, was added on top and then he felt a small tear. "Orion died by her hand."

"Artemis was wracked with grief and guilt, but even a goddess couldn't go against the Fates. So she turned him into the stars. Look up Chouji," she ordered and Chouji realized that her fingers weren't on his wound, but checking his pulse. "Those stars directly above you are called Orion's Belt."

Chouji tried he honestly did, but what he saw, when he heaved his eyes upwards was Ino's pale face and hard eyes. Blue orbs still worried, but relieved and there was a hint of pride, overriding everything was exhaustion. His eyes are magnetically, habitually drawn to his best friend's and the last images he carries are a strange echo of Ino's.

_Except his eyes are soft_

**Kin**

"I didn't know you like astronomy."

The comment was casual and had no infliction in it's tone, but the blonde's cheeks took a slight pinkish tinge anyway. She hadn't planned on telling Chouji a bed time story while he almost bled to death, but Chouji wasn't the only needing help. Shikamaru looked tense, anxious-

helpless

_they fight together and it's not fair, it should be her, but she can't do anything, she can't help him, their teammates, he's fighting with the wrong blonde, she shouldn't be so helpless_

She's almost angry, and she doesn't know why, but a deeper part stirs and she knows Chouji's not the only one who needs her so she opens her mouth and the first thing that popped out was well, that.

"Pretty much everything about the stars really. Myths, facts, stories, poems," she tried to shrug it off, but the Chunnin seemed uncharacteristically interested.

"Why didn't you say anything? You never hold back on information," he grimaced.

Ino laughed. "After all that ribbing about you getting lost in the skies?" she teased, but gripped her cover tightly. She still feels cold even now, the feeling of holding Chouji's life in her hands so acutely has not faded yet. She expected him to snort in agreement, but instead he took his time looking back at her.

"Why?" She blinks uncomephendingly and she smirks at his characteristic sigh, gratful for some moments of normalcy. "Why do you watch?"

"Oh." Ino frowned a bit and pulled the sheet even more tightly around her small frame, she half wondered bulking up was worth it if it meant having Chouji's envious body heat. "Well," she started slowly, "You like clouds because they're simple right? They are what they are." Nod. "Well stars are whatever you need them to be," Ino tried to explain. "Guides, prayers, stories, aspirations. Flowers are like that too."

His lips quirked up slightly. "Flowers too?"

She nods vehemently. "Of course." It occurs to her that usually when someone else takes watch, Shikamaru has to be caffeine wired and threatened with chores to be awake. Or paperwork. His gaze flickers towards Chouji, now resting and she bits her tongue. She hated maybes, what might have happened if Chouji hadn't been healed in time. Today was her first day working as an actual medic with someone other then animals and she was scared shitless. Sure she dodged pretty well, hey all that time in people's heads gave her some kind of feel for their patterns, but she had almost failed at a medic most important duty after not getting hit. Heal the team. Keep them alive.

Ino's almost cocooned in her sheets, but she still shivers. She had almost frozen when she saw Chouji fall, a hand automatically going to his throat and coming out red when he pulled it away. She had made it, Ino breathed to herself. But what if she hadn't? One day, as a medic, she would kill someone, and she could only hope to god, Kami or whatever deity there was, that it wasn't any of her friends. A thought stops her from delving deeper into her almost-failure.

_Shikamaru is cold by the fire_.

"There was a beautiful boy called Hyacinth," Ino blurted out "He was a favorite of Apollo. Unfortunately another boy Zephyrus, also loved Hyacinth and was jealous of Apollo's success in winning Hyacinth's heart."

He could have pointed out the faint hysteria in her voice or the not so subtle attempt to direct his attention away from their teammate, but he doesn't. "Someone dies," he deadpanned.

Ino rolls her eyes. "It's Greek idiot, of _course_ someone dies," she scolded, letting her grip loosen so she can lean forward. "Now shut up and let me finish."

_Gods, men, flowers, stars, please drive the red away _

**Privilege**

Her room is different than he imagined, not as Spartan as his obviously, but there isn't too much purple and he sees a small stuffed pig staring at him mournfully underneath the tons of books piled on her bed. But not just on her bed. On her bed rest, her chair, her desk, on a small book case he doesn't remember her having, in and on top of it's shelves and most importantly on his lap.

"I still don't see why I have to read this," he complains, despite the fact that he already memorized the contents of the chapter an hour ago. "_I'm_ not studying to be a medic."

"You've already memorized it already, so stop complaining." Scary.

"Why do I need to do this again?"

"Because I need to study," she replies without looking up from her scroll, he wonders if she would duck if he could somehow muster the energy to through a book at her.

Funny, he doesn't remember her studying this hard in the Academy, then again she never had too. Although she wasn't the fact-nut her best friend was, the classes had come easily to her. It must be hard, he reflects, to be doing something you know you suck at. "Why don't you just ask Sakura then?"

The page whips across, the slicing noise echoes ominously and she finally lifts her head to glare him down. "I don't need her help to memorize this," Ino said slowly.

"And yet you need the help of a boy with absolutely no knowledge of medicine instead of your prodigy sempai?" he asks rhetorically, deciding to move onto the next chapter out of boredom. "That makes sense."

"Shut up Shikamaru," Ino snapped, her patience being to fray and he feels amusement soothe his eyes at her temper. "Besides, what if something happens to me?" she says practically. "What is I get hurt or my chakra gets too drained and I can't heal you?"

"Then," he says just as slowly, just as practically, "You'd be a piss poor medic. I shouldn't have to know how," he looks down at the colorful picture, "Healing capilliraies requires a different technique than healing veins in a third degree burn."

"Aren't you the one who says it's best to prepare for all eventualities," she quotes snidely.

She has a point, but that isn't why he says anything. She is wearing a loose black tank top and flannel pajama bottoms with sushi rolls on them, her hair has completely fallen out of it's tie, and is hanging in a tangled mess around her face. She pushes it behind her ear impatiently and she has circles under her eyes. She looks so different from the girl who complained about her team assignment, that he has to bite back a smirk.

He must not have hid it well because Ino gives a tired sigh. "Look next time I'll just ask Chouji to help instead," Ino muttered going back to reading.

He frowns at the diagram, "You'd murder him for opening a bag of chips too loudly."

he can't see it, but he can feel her mouth tug upwards reluctantly. "Maybe," she admits. Her eyes dart up quickly and he sees them lighten playfully for a moment despite her weariness. "Or we'd end up pigging out."

He snorts, because even though Ino is not the dieting freak she once was, she's still paranoid about packing pounds. But its more health conscious now he supposes, being a medic surely means that she's familair with eating disorders and the proper calories intake a day someone who burns chakra needs.

She leans forward to grab a scroll, probably to refer to something, and her tank shifts slightly and he gets a slight glimpse at her chest and the smoothness of her abdomen.

_she's starting to fill out_

Ino, who's attention has shifted back to her text, hasn't noticed his unintentional ogling, but he doesn't push his luck and breaks off his staring. Is it a good thing or bad thing that it was unintentional, he muses, probably bad, very, very bad.

But he knows he'll be here again anyways, helping her cram and memorize information he doesn't need..

_he'd rather this not be an Ino-Shika-Cho thing_

**Glance**

She is someone else when she heals

She is someone calmer. Someone stronger. She is tender, stories of stars and gods ring in his ears. She is callous.

She is in better shape then they are (pattern lessons are paying off), but she still has a handful of scratches marring her skin and staining her clothes, her tie is broken and hair is sticking to her face from sweat. her mouth is set in a hard line and the green glow from her hands echoes uncomfortably in his ears.

He watches her heal because he sees more of her in those moments than anytime during training.

She is complicated compared to other girls, and whatever he sees are sides to a puzzle he has long accepted he will never fined out. He is wary of his fascination because seeing her heal, he feels like-

_he wants to try_

**U-turn**

One day it is inevitable that she will kill someone.

It is the inevitable fate of someone who decides to work in the medical field. Already the distinction between her and Sakura is clearing, Sakura is more at home at the hospital than Ino has ever been, her skills making her necessary to the ever short staff of both civilian and ninja doctors. Ino thrives on the field. Sakura is by no means a slouch, she goes on missions and almost no one dies, but her precision makes her vital to some of the more time consuming patients and she grows closer to them. Privately, Ino thinks that one day that will bite her in the ass. Ino on the other had has gotten her wish, she's helpful alright (not as invaluable as Sakura though), she's constantly out in the field, healing. By proxy Ino might save more people, but Sakura will definitely kill less. And even though no one has died yet-

it will happen.

She's worried that one day it might be her teammates.

**Small**

She grits her teeth at being constantly eclipsed by her rival. Sakura has better chakra control, Sakura has better diagnosis, Sakura has better bedside manner, Sakura has better memory, Sakura is _better_.

Sometimes though she is pleasantly surprised. For instance Sakura, may be better at diagnosing poison, but Ino is better at making antidotes. Sakura is good at healing bruises, but Ino makes better salve for them. Sakura connects with patients better, but Ino gets over their deaths quicker. Sakura is stronger, but Ino is faster and better at dodging.

Her arm is dislocated, she has a massive bruise on her ribs and her lip is bleeding, but she is still in far better shape than Sakura, who is on her left and trying her best to ignore her broken nose while gingerly putting weight on a twisted ankle..

training with Tsuande is viloent, but at the same time, Ino feels a thrill.

Tsunade does not hold back. She expects them to be able to take what she throws at them or take the punch they signed on for.

_dark eyes flicker in hesitation when they spar, large hands pull back on punches, _

Her mouth twists in grim satisfaction. She feels like one day soon, she'll be able to.

**Tighten**

He can tell by the set of her jaw that she's trying hard not to cry, not from sadness or self-pity, but from frustration.

He can tell she feels worse than she looks and that's saying something because she has a cut lip, massive bruises on her arms and every time she takes in a deep breath to calm down she flinches and a pale hand flutters to her stomach.

"You fought well."

Her fists clench the purple fabric and she scoffs. "I lost," she says.

"So, _I_ lost," he reminds her.

"Not where it counted," she reminds him and her voice seems to imply something more. She resumed her trek to her room, but another figure blocked their passage. He sees her stiffen and turn towards her visitor. "Temari-san," she bows briefly, hiding her wince, "Congratulations." She leaves before Temari can even nod at her and doesn't say a word to Shikamaru.

There is a squirming sensation churning in his stomach and he realizes that it's guilt

_for what? he wonders_

**Think**

It's not often he is curious about something, but her fight is like a puzzle with a missing piece.

For a three-way fight between Tenten and Shino she was doing well, she froze Tenten in a mindlock and Shino had taken care of the rest, at looked like it would at least be a tie between her and the Aburame genius (a feat in it's self), but there was a moment when-

"Why did you pause?" he asks, mostly for the heck of it, since he doubts her ego's gotten less sore on the road home.

She didn't say anything and honestly he didn't expect her to-

"I forgot you and Chouji weren't there anymore."

**Slow**

It was hypocritical to admit, but he missed training with his team. Though it was probably more the company than the actual training.

They've adjusted, he notes. Chouji and Ino work on their taijutsu together, Asuma supervise their stamina and weapons training and he supposes that his teammates practice most of their jutsus with their parents. So instead of slaving away he joins his sensei by the tree and watches his teammates, feeling an odd ache at how well they spar.

Chouji's gotten stronger, he notes and Ino's gotten fas-

_really filled out_

Chouji's eyes automatically latch on to the skin revealed by the blonde's defective strap and a small hand flickers out and makes a smack, squelching noise against his eye.

**Years**

if there is one thing Asuma has come to expect with having a female on the team is to expect everything. Kurenai is a woman and therefore privy to mysterious female happenings, the little Hyuuga is quiet as a mouse anyways, Gai would be hard pressed to find someone more insane then his spandex wearing student and fate obsessed brat, and Kakashi-

_would give anything to be able to go through this_

But Asuma has gotten Ino, who really he wouldn't trade for the world, even if he does occasionally wish she could be less-

_loud, tempermental, proud, vain_

but in all fairness these are factors which have lessened over the years. But she is still a girl, a teenage girl, and dealing with her is like walking on a field tagged with exploding notes. But over the years he has learned through painful repetition which ones to side step. For instance Ino may appear to dress to get attention, but thank fucking Kami, she does not. She throws a fit every time someone stares at her a little too long, even if it's just at the color (purple is unusual for a nin after all), and from what he can tell she dresses for her own self confidence and pleasure. And though that makes no sense at all to Asuma, couldn't she be just as confident in a poncho or something?, he has accepted it nonetheless and learned to expect the outbursts.

He knows Chouji can't help it, he's a pubescent minor as well, the boy's too shy to even look at most girls, let alone stare at their chest. Asuma does expect for Ino to promptly smack him with a chakra infused hand or some such thing. Sure she's fast, but Chouji hasn't been slouching either and she knows her teammate should have been able to dodge that hit. Already the confusion in her eyes is fading as she grasps the reasoning behind her hit. And despite learning to expect everything, Asuma does not expect-

for her to break into cheerful laughter and for her eyes to twinkle mischievously.

**Storm**

"So you just _laughed_?" green eyes narrowed skeptically. Sakura swirled her straw absentmindedly. "You didn't at least smack him for ogling?" she demanded.

Her blonde companion shrugged. "If it had been anyone else, probably. But it was Chouji," she argued, her mouth threatening to break into a grin, "he doesn't even _look_ at girls."

The pinkette purses her lips, but has to concede that her best friend's large teammate is one of the shyest people she's ever known, save for Hinata.

"Besides," Ino's eyes take on a familiar elfish twinkle. "It gave me an idea."

**Dress**

Sakura blinked at her friend. "Wow," she muttered, "You look...."

Her smile faded a bit. "It's not slutty right?" she demanded, her hands on her hips.

Sakura shook her head, pink locks falling gracefully around her face. "No," she objected, "It's daring, but no, definitely not slutty."

Her new outfit clung to curves Sakura didn't even know Ino had. But the skirt wasn't ridiculously short and her top concealed her bust well, only exposing her toned abdomen. Sakura had definitely seen more skin then this on civilians, but seeing it on Ino was...

"It's just eye stopping," the pinkette finished sheepishly, lifting a hand to rub her neck uncomfortably, and already expecting Ino to brag a bit.

"Good," Ino said slolwy, a grin beginning to spread, "That's what I was aiming for."

**Told**

Looking at his student's face he can tell that he thinks of it as a completely indecent way to win, but Ino doesn't seem to care. "See," she crooned, "I told you this outfit is useful."

He smothers his laugh, "It definitely bought you some time."

"See," she turned to her sullen teammate, "Even sensei said so."

Ino has always dressed with a flair, oddly enough she dresses more tame on her days off, then when she was on duty (go figure), but her new outfit was as Ino put it, "useful"- at least when it came to pubescent nin.

"Whatever," her lazy teammate grumbles, "you proved your point, you don't have to wear _that_," he gives her attire a distasteful look. "Again," he finishes.

She propped her hands on her hips. "As a matter a fact, I like wearing this outfit," she said loftily, "It's breezy." She promptly flounced off to collect the scroll they recovered in the skirmish, unaware that her teammate's face changed from disapproval to reluctant fascination at the motions of her legs.

He turned wildly to his sensei,"Can't you tell her to stop wearing that?"

Asma gave an uncharacteristic snort, "Since when would she listen?" his mouth curled upwards at the lack of response, "Besides that outfit was probably the reason why she was able to slip that kunai in."

"More like his fascination with her thighs," he thought he heard Shikamaru mutter. He looked at Chouji who still looked as stunned as he had this morning when Ino came in with her new outfit.

He swallowed his grin, ah puberty. Hell to go through, but so much fun to watch.

**Cheer**

"..... positive? If you're wrong about this I swear-"

"Ino, I'm _sure_. I heard them talking about it."

"Thanks so much Shika!"

"....."

I have to go tell Sakura, ooh! and Asuma! and my dad- bye guys- congrats too Chouji- dinner's on Asuma later!"

"......"

"Shikamaru?"

"Hm."

"You're face is red."

"Hm."

"Is it cause she kissed your che-"

"Shut up Chouji."

**Checkers**

Since neither Chouji nor Ino wear their Chunnin vests- (_"They don't have one in my size"&"It ruins the point of my outfit"_)

He tries for another symbol of team unity.

Chouji and Ino are bickering over his diet, Ino if anything has gotten more relentless ever since she became a medic (_Chouji you need protein not grease!"_), Shikamaru is yawning-

He tugs his ear absentmindedly.

_some things will not change_

**Pass**

He feels their childhood bleed from his wounds.

They are no longer children, but not grown yet.

He wishes they had more time. He wishes he could see Shikamaru discover his drive and excel, he wishes he could see Chouji become confident enough to let everyone know how his smile can light up a room, he wishes he could see Ino realize how truly beautiful she is, inside and out.

There are a lot of things he wishes, but he sees them, standing strong together and he knows they are in good hands.

He wishes he could see them all, their success, their failures, their laughter and tears, their doubts and determination. But time is slipping and it's simply not possible. So instead he tells them of what they should already know, but don't believe themselves capable of.

Shikamaru is not just a strategist, a coward, an assassin, he is a protector. He's a guardian (_dark eyes stare longinly at a carved face against a hard unyielding canvas_.

Chouji will prove everyone wrong and when he does the light will shine bright enough that he will see it from wherever shinobi go when they die.

Ino is not just a rival, a kunoichi, a looker, she is a fighter. For her village, for her boys, for her feelings, for _living_.

He takes a drag and he hears the sky thunder.

_Laughing crimson eyes, ebony hair slick against ivory skin, the scent of rain and lilacs lingering around her_

He knows he's leaving all of them in good hands.


	3. Adolesence II

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

**Sirena**

**Tire**

It's been two months and things should be better. To a civilian two months sounds like one hell of a speedy grieving period, but a nin's life moves in a blink and grief can be stored as easily as chakra when push comes to shove. Things should be better, but they aren't. Not even a little, or even at all.

She eats on an empty stomach, sleeps on pills because she dreams (red dried on her hands, dripping still), and none of her team (just us now, _she whispers to herself, by herself_) really looks at each other because it hurts too fucking much.

She feels old.

**And So**

Hinata eyes are more open now, warm and sweet with consideration, Tenten is awkward and sympathetic, Tsunade is wearyand aware she wants to drown herself in work and won't let her, Shizune does and Ino gets the graveyard shift constantly, and Sakura-

is popping up everywhere because the world is fucked up like that, it always gives you something different from what you want. She almost hates her friend/rival/senpai and words, hard, unforgiving words burn in her mouth every time Sakura is in close proximity. Asuma and Sasuke are both gone, but Asuma won't ever come back, and even though there is a snowball's chance in hell of Sasuke making Sakura's fairy fantasy of a return to childhoodcome true, Ino is jealous.

More jealous of anything she's ever been, because Sakura can still hope. Can still cling to the memory of a lost teammate.

Ino has to muffle screams from her under-medicated dreams when she imagines Asuma in them, whole, giant, laughing behind a puff of smoke, because happy haunts her more than horror.

She hates her tolerance for medication, hates how quiet her life is, (it always had some element of it, but now the silence blares, like a painful screech) she hates Akatsuki, and she almost hates her best friend, even though Sasuke being alive has nothing to do with her.

She''d hate herself for that too, but she doesn't think of herself as a person anymore. An image in a mirror and a sad nin with almost broken teammates.

**Legacy**

It hurts.

Looking at her team, just knocks the breath out of her and if she stares at them too long, she's reminded of the man who held their lives in his hands and gave his life so they could _live_. They feel the same way, she feels it in her bones, because Shikamaru is always awake and Chouji never eats. But she can't lose them too, because if there's one thing she learned about the Rookie 9's most elusive sensei, it's that losing people never gets any easier.

She shoves Shkamaru out of bed, ignoring the fact that he is already awake, lying there and brings Chouji home cooked meals despite the facts he is never without a snack, and she thinks her promise isn't day by day, but hour by hour.

**Hands**

Her mother is painfully aware of her civilian status and her father looks at her like he hates himself. They want their daughter back, Ino knows. They want normalcy, so in between 9 hour shifts and solo training, she starts working in the flower shop again, on weekends or whenever she's not on missions.

She remembers Kurenai's flowers and she takes one home everyday without knowing why. She doesn't even put them in water, they shrivel after a day and she throws them away when they do.

**Impart**

Almost everyone has seen Kakashi at the memorial stone, but Ino can count the number of times he's bought flowers. Once every year, her father told her, for about as long as you were alive. She's only ever caught him twice, like clockwork, always the exact same week, same day most of the time.

Sure enough, he's here again, tall and lanky, dark in her family's bright shop, the blooms and green stems a contrast to the fabric he clothes himself with. He holds up four fingers and she nods, taking the exact number of the exact same flowers he always gets from the cooler.

They mean _friendship, _she notes.

He's leaving then, it's all done in a couple of seconds, the white tissue paper crinkles in his left hand, as his right pushes open the door and the bell makes a tinkling noise, light and high when he speaks, halfway out.

"It's alright to remember Ino."

**Soft**

Her nails dig into the soil. her back aches because she's been hunched in her family fields for hours now. Staring at Kurenai's flowers, young and still in the ground, Ino finally lets the same memory replay in her head.

_Big hands handing her money, letting her keep the change, dark skin darkening some more, spluttered excuses, and fondness, happiness_

Remembering is hard, it clenches her chest and she tries to breathe, because more memories are there, pressing against her closed eyelids, and she wonders how far along Kurenai is in her pregnancy.

**Hold**

Her lungs forget to work when she sees Kurenai. She's huge and there, and sensei is everywhere in this house. She's bawling, harder than when he died, the fresh flowers in her hand fall onto Kuernai's floor and she's too tired to make herself not feel.

Kurenai's pregnant belly presses up against her and slender arms pull her into a hug she refused to believe she needed.

**Learn**

She pats down the moist soil. The dirt clings to her fingertips and she breathes in the scent of clean air and dug up earth. her hand reaches up to tug in her earring and she finally opens her eyes to look.

This is the first time since the funeral that she has been here. Shikamaru comes every week with Kurenai and Chouji sometimes goes with them, but the lack of life in a cemetery is unsettling to her. But maybe, she ponders, tracing his name with her eyes, cemetaries are supposed to remind you about life.

She thinks of the tiny seeds in the ground, alive, and thinks Kurenai's belly and remembers life and how she's still here. And something finally settles in her soul and her stomach growls.

**Signs**

The baby kicked.

Life doesn't have to go on without people she believes, touching the skin where a little foot was, they go with you. Life is full of reminders that keep them with you, and she remembersthe memorial stone and Kakashi-sensei's flowers and how the memorial stone could use some color.

**Miracle**

babies are a messy bloody, business, Ino shouldn't even be in the ward, but Kurenai insisted and Tsuande pulled some strings and so unlike the rest of the Rookie 9 and Team Gai, Ino gets to witness the entire miracle.

Childbirth is gruesome, she learns. The second the squirming baby is placed in her arms though, Kurenai doesn't even remember the pain she went through. Her eyes are soft and full of love. Ino is the second person to hold the tiny infant before the baby is sent to be cleaned and for a second it felt like Ino was cradling a soul.

There should only be three peoplin the room, but everyone crowds in anyways and Kurneai smiles a beautiful smile before promptly passingout from sheer exhaustion

**Alice**

Sanna, is the baby's name. Ino is so busy rolling the name off her tongue she misses Kurenai's question, but she hears her teammate draw in a quick breath.

Kurenai's lips quirk, amused and happy tired all at once, "You already said you would look for our baby," she reminds him, "I'm just making it official. Besides it's not all on you Shikamaru."

Ino shots him a look (what?) and he's too shocked to respond, so Chouji answers for her. Godparents, he mouths and tilts his head almost imperceptibly towards her and Shika.

"What?"

* * *

Sorry for the wait. More to come I promise.


End file.
